Street Retreat: Saturday

I can’t feel my face.

Am I frozen? I was woken up by the sound of the guys packing their gear. Could it be morning already?

I have no idea how cold it had gotten overnight. The only part of me exposed from my mummy sack was my face. It felt like my cheeks were frozen, but the rest of me was nice and toasty. Do I have to get up?

I noticed a steady stream of guys walking one by one to the “bathroom”. I resigned myself to the reality that I’d have to go too. So, I got up and walked over. I can’t say that I followed Mike’s advice well because I was struck by the sign at eye level which read, “monitoring in effect”. Oh my! Am I being watched in this most compromising position? My head frantically searched the sides of the buildings. If there were cameras, I couldn’t see them. Oh well! Time to push off!

I packed my gear and joined a very quiet procession of guys. I had no idea where we were going. All I knew was that we were on the move. Our two other groups who’d broken off from us last night somehow found us and rejoined us on our quiet march uptown. At last we arrived at a 7-Eleven. Mike said he was buying coffee for all of us. Snuffy stuffed some money into Mike’s hand to help pay for the coffee. What? A couple of homeless guys are going to buy coffee for all 17 of us? I couldn’t believe it, but they insisted. We were, after all, their guests. Well that’s a great way to start the day – letting homeless guys buy me coffee! Would I like a dash of humility with that?

After coffee, Mike led us up to the University Methodist Church. He said they’d be serving breakfast to the homeless today. Sure enough, more and more men and women of all ages began arriving in the parking lot. We used the opportunity to say our morning prayers in the parking lot. It was such a great blessing to me to be praying with all these men outdoors in a public place! Even some of the homeless joined in!

Once the doors opened and once I was inside I was struck by the efficiency of it all. They would probably serve several hundred or more people this morning. The line of homeless snaked around the perimeter of the cafeteria where different stations, like coffee, juice and food, were set up. You got what you needed then grabbed a seat. There was even a station of books. Some homeless returned books that they’d borrowed and others took books. The saddest thing I saw as the stack of children’s books. Yes, sad as it is, kids are homeless too.

After breakfast we made our way to Church Under the Bridge where a live concert was starting. Yep, people come to minister to the homeless in various ways, including through music. Nice! On the way we met Chris. Chris is a self-appointed Catholic missionary to the homeless. I was struck by how well educated he was. He was also very clean for a homeless man. He has a camp set up somewhere in town. He chose to give up his life to live and work with the homeless. On our way another homeless came up to him and asked for some change for coffee. Without hesitation, Chris pulled out some change and handed it to the homeless, looked him in the eyes and said, “for coffee, ok?”

He was preaching to us about the importance of confession and mass, and how we can look to the saints to help us live better lives. Finally one of our guys told him that we were all preparing for the diaconate. Chris stopped in his tracks with a look of admiration on his face. He praised God right there on the street and shook each of our hands. I was a little overwhelmed. Could we mean so much to other people? Chris left us after a little while then and said he’d pray for us.

We hung out at the concert for a bit, but I was eager to get to the Cathedral in time for confession. Now I didn’t have a watch so I didn’t know how much time I had. One of the homeless told me that if I wanted to know the time, all I had to do is read a parking meter. Huh? Curious, I went over to a parking meter. Of course! The city installed digital meters and all the meters display the time! Neat! Once I checked the time I realized I needed to get on the move. I told the guys I was heading for the Cathedral. Several decided to come with me and so we set off.

After a nice long walk through town, we finally arrived and to my pleasant surprise many of the guys were arriving as well. We’d separated again after Chris left us, but within a few minutes, we were all together at the Cathedral. After confessions, mass began and this is the part I really want to share. So, we’re a group of 15 deacon aspirants plus 2 sons plus our shepherds. We’re attending mass, though not all sitting together. We were scattered around the nave of the church. I had no idea what the readings for the day were. And then I heard the First Reading.

“At that time, as the number of disciples continued to grow, the Hellenists complained against the Hebrews because their widows were being neglected in the daily distribution. So the Twelve called together the community of the disciples and said, ‘It is not right for us to neglect the word of God to serve at table. Brothers, select from among you seven reputable men, filled with the Spirit and wisdom, whom we shall appoint to this task, whereas we shall devote ourselves to prayer and to the ministry of the word.’ The proposal was acceptable to the whole community, so they chose Stephen, a man filled with faith and the holy Spirit, also Philip, Prochorus, Nicanor, Timon, Parmenas, and Nicholas of Antioch, a convert to Judaism. They presented these men to the apostles who prayed and laid hands on them. The word of God continued to spread, and the number of the disciples in Jerusalem increased greatly; even a large group of priests were becoming obedient to the faith,”(Acts 6:1-7).

Now for those who don’t know, this is the scriptural basis for deacons. Talk about a God moment! I don’t think a single one of us had dry eyes. Here we were on a random retreat. We weren’t required to come to this particular weekend. We could have gone to one of the other weekends earlier in the year. The retreats are not limited to deacon aspirants so it’s not like this was staged for our benefit. But as it happened, the majority of my class were here on this retreat; on this weekend trying to discern God’s will for our lives and what do we hear? God’s word about the first deacons! To say I was overwhelmed is an understatement!

I had to wonder what more does God has in store for us this weekend because I was emotionally spent? What more do we need to see and learn? Who else would touch our lives this day?

But that is another story.

Peace!

Street Retreat: The First Night

Mike found us.

Funny thing was I didn’t know who Mike was or that he was looking for us. Mike had been walking up the strand when he ran into us. When he found out that we were retreatants, he was so excited! He couldn’t believe that Mobile Loaves & Fishes hadn’t called to let him know we were coming.

Yes, he has a cell phone. Mike is an interesting fellow. He’s a thin Hispanic of average height with a brilliant smile that although missing a few teeth is as bright as the sun! He’s a day laborer whose parents live in a farming community close to town but too far to easily find day jobs. So he lives on the streets during warmer months and lives with his parents in the winter.

It was pretty obvious that Mike had plans that evening, but he dropped everything to spend time with us. He said he’d help us find a safe place to sleep that night. Snuffy however wasn’t ready for bed. He was eager for a cigarillo (mini cigar). A small group was going with Snuffy. The rest of us were about to head out with Mike.

Now this was a dilemma. Do I go with Snuffy downtown to learn the fine art scoring a cigarillo or go find a place to sleep? Then Mike said before we get ready for bed we need a lesson in the fine art of dumpster diving. Ok – with Mike I go!

We kept to the alleys as we made our way across town. I’ve lived here for a while, but from the alleys I had no clue where I was! Mike told us all about dumpsters. We learned the difference between trash dumpsters and recycling dumpsters. We were after recycling dumpsters, specifically cardboard recycling dumpsters. He explained that if you sleep on concrete without padding you could freeze. Now it wasn’t supposed to freeze that night but we did what he asked. We set up the most curious assembly line picking out useable pieces of cardboard and passing them down the line.

When we exhausted the supply, we carried our cardboard unto the street. To my surprise, we were right by the capitol. How on earth did we get here? He took us to a nearby church where we could find a safe place to sleep outside. By this time the shelters were full. But there’s safety in numbers so sleeping on the church steps was our best bet.

When we got to the church, all the stairs were full so he led us around the side to a cement ramp which leads up from the parking lot. We arranged our boxes two-by-two along the ramp and prepared to bed down for the night. One guy asked about the bathroom which caused Mike to smile again. He pointed to the parking garage across the way. He said just past the garage is a wood fence. Then with a serious expression on his face he said, “don’t hit the fence.” We all looked at each other.

When I laid down I was struck by the beauty of the sky that night. The stars were so clear in part because of the lunar eclipse. What a peaceful place in the heart of downtown! Then I looked down and I saw it – the top of the capitol dome. Light seemed to radiate from the gold-like dome. Then it hit me. Here I was sleeping on the street surrounded by homeless people and there not a stone’s throw away was the very symbol of power and wealth. The only thing separating me from there was an iron fence.

That night I had a restless sleep in part because of how chilly it got and in part because of the irony of my situation. Not a week ago I might have been the person who drove his car ignoring the homeless guy on the side of the road. A few years ago, I might have been the guy who could recite a litany of reasons why people were homeless and what they should do to get off the street – like I had a clue! And yet here I was walking in their shoes. To say I felt uneasy would be putting it mildly.

Despite how easy it had been for me to look away, to not make eye contact with the homeless, it was the homeless who made sure that I had a meal. Despite my checking to make sure my car doors were locked as I approached an intersection where a homeless guy was panhandling, it was the homeless who made sure I had a safe place to sleep that night. I did so very little for them, and yet they were doing so much for. Why would Mike drop his plans for the evening to help us out? Why should he care if whether we were warm or cold that night?

I felt like I was going nuts! I couldn’t wait for the morning! I couldn’t wait to get on the move. The sooner we packed up the sooner I’d be able to get some coffee and more importantly the sooner I’d be able to distract myself from my thoughts.

But the morning is another story!

Peace!

Street Retreat: Day 1

We couldn’t bring watches so I’m not sure how long we’d been at the park. Honestly, it seemed like an eternity. After a while, I dropped to the ground. I think I was emotionally exhausted! I pulled my hat over my eyes and I tried to take a nap but sleeping was pointless. I looked around from under the brim of my hat at the large number of people gathering in the park – young and old, male and female. Are there really this many homeless?

They’re waiting for dinner.

I heard that a food truck was on the way and soon we’d eat. Gradually, a line began forming by the road adjacent to us. As the minutes passed the line grew longer and longer. Eventually a small silver Mobile Loaves & Fishes truck finally arrived. I was skeptical that it could feed everyone. Snuffy, one of our new homeless friends, said that we’d all eat off the truck, but we weren’t so sure. One of my brothers said that he volunteers with the Mobile Loaves & Fishes and he didn’t think there would be near enough food for everyone.

Snuffy went over to the truck to get some lemonade.

Later, he came over and noticed we weren’t eating. One of the guys explained that there wouldn’t be enough food to feed us all. Snuffy thought about it for a moment, and then said, “no one goes hungry tonight!” He thrust his hand into the air and began making circles as if trying to lasso someone with an imaginary rope. Like obedient little ducklings, we marched up the street behind him. We must have looked like a strange parade of guys marching through downtown. We had only been on the streets for a couple of hours but we already looked like a ragtag group.

Now Snuffy is a cool dude! He was dressed well, albeit a little dirty. He even had some cool little sun glasses with octagon-shaped orange lenses – completely impractical. They were smaller than the sunglasses that Gary Oldman wore in Bram Stoker’s Dracula. The glasses conveyed hipness through and through.

Finally we arrived. Snuffy had brought us to a little vegetarian restaurant on the drag. He explained that the place is owned by Buddhists. It’s against their religion to let someone starve. He assured us that we all would eat. I couldn’t believe that any business would give so much food away. There had to be close to 20 of us who had followed Snuffy.

Through the windows of the restaurant we noticed an Asian woman stack small to-go boxes on the counter. She carefully carried the boxes to a small table just inside the front door and then walked away. Snuffy said we were to go one at a time, grab a box and a spoon and then leave. He asked us to make sure we didn’t block the door so the paying customers could come and go. We each took a turn at collecting a small box and then leaving. It was an odd ritual but we all did it. My box had a small scoop of white rice, a dribble of sauce and piece of steamed broccoli. It was a meager feast to be sure, but I was overcome with gratitude.

Why would Snuffy help us? He knew we weren’t really homeless. Why would he care if we ate or not? And why would the restaurant owners feed us? How could they possibly afford it? We’re not their responsibility, are we?

We all walked away humbled by the experience. That evening, we remembered Snuffy and the owners of that vegetarian restaurant in our prayers.

It was time to move on. We needed to figure out where we were going to sleep that night, but that’s another story.

Peace!

What? Star Trek is Commie?

Here’s a post in light of the recent May Day celebrations around the world.

You know, sometimes I can be a bit naive, but I’m not sure about this one. A couple of months ago a friend floored me with a comment he made.

We’re sitting in class talking about the assignment and somehow we got on the topic of Star Trek. He said Star Trek is commie. Communism? Really?

He gave me all sorts of reasons for this idea, all of which sent my head into a tizzy!

What?

Are you serious?

Can’t a show just be a show?

What do y’all think?

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

What is Cinco de Mayo?

On May 5, 1862 the 8,000-strong French army attacked the much more poorly equipped Mexican army of 4,000 near Puebla, at the Mexican forts of Loreto and Guadalupe. The Mexicans crushed the French!

Cinco de Mayo marks a decisive victory against the French occupation of Mexico. The French occupation began when Napoleon III decided to take advantage of weakened Mexico devastated by years of war and strife.

Some historians suggest that France’s real goal was to help break up the American Union which was bogged down in the Civil War. According to the Huffington Post, “The defeat of the French army had consequences for America as well…the French defeat denied Napoleon III the opportunity to resupply the Confederate rebels for another year.” That gave time for the Union to build up its army and defeat the Confederates at Gettysburg just 14 months after the battle of Puebla.

So why should we care about Cinco de Mayo?

Cinco de Mayo represents people who stood up in the face of tyranny and fought for the causes of justice and freedom. Sound familiar? We should honor the Cinco de Mayo as a reminder to us all the responsibility to fight for what’s right; the responsibility to stand in the face of the tyranny of polar extremes begins with each one of us. So stand up against extremism! Be active in politics and above all remember to vote!

So find your voter registration card! Get ready for the election! Go vote!

Here’s to you, Mexico!

Celebrate Public Service Recognition Week

May 6-12 is Public Service Recognition Week in the U.S.

Our gratitude should surpass our individual political persuasions. Remember to thank public employees this week.

Public employees are the men and women who serve our nation as federal, state, county and local government employees and ensure that our government is the best in the world. Whether school teachers, cops, judges, librarians or other administrative staff, they are passionate people who love what they do.

Public employees work hard for you and they deserve our thanks.

So to all the government employees out there, thank you!

Street Retreat: It Begins

Many friends and family have asked me to write about my experiences on the street retreat. It’s difficult to know how to begin such a story.

The evening after I returned home from the retreat, I posted the following on facebook.

“Heading home from the street retreat. All the deacon aspirants were asked to live 48 hours on the streets with the homeless. I’ll write more later, but all I can say is WOW! From the homeless guy who made sure we ate Friday night, to the other homeless guy who made sure we had a safe, clean place to sleep, to the two homeless who bought all 17 of us coffee on Saturday! WOW! This morning two of my brothers and I were walking through east Austin and we came to a small Catholic church. We asked for some coffee. When they found out what we were doing, they invited us in and made us a hot breakfast! I’m overwhelmed by the kindness we experienced! God is good! +Amen!”

But of course, this is the end of the story. Better to start at the beginning, no?

In December, all of the aspirants and our wives gathered for a “day of reflection”. We were a larger group then.  We were about 48 guys. Add in our wives, the formation leads and their wives, the kind volunteers who served us breakfast and lunch, the priests, etc., and we were probably close to 100 people.

I remember them inviting Deacon Dave to the mic to tell us more about one of the pastoral field experiences that we would face during the spring semester. He introduced a local nonprofit called Mobile Loaves and Fishes. We were asked to sign up for one of three possible street retreats. We were being asked to spend 48 hours on the streets with just the clothes on our backs – no food, telephones, credit cards, or cash. Well I can tell you that I was excited and nervous all at once. I’m no stranger to mission work, but I had never done anything like this before. I marched right up the table and signed up for a weekend.

Before you can participate in a street retreat, you must attend an orientation session. In my case, I attended an orientation session the Sunday evening before my retreat. I had a good case of the butterflies the entire trip from my home to the Mobile Loaves and Fishes headquarters. I was a little surprised when I got there. It looked like the majority of those of us left in the diaconate program were there. I didn’t know that one of the retreats that had been scheduled earlier in the semester was cancelled due to inclement weather, so that group joined our group. The conference room was nearly full and yet you could nearly hear a pin drop. Perhaps everyone was a little nervous. I remember wondering whether or not that should comfort me.

Deacon Dave opened our meeting with a prayer. Then he walked us through the weekend, which was easy. There really was no agenda – no itinerary – no plan except to spend time on the streets with the homeless. Although I do not remember him specifically saying it, I believe that’s part of the point of this retreat.

You don’t have to spend too much time at church before you hear someone say “let go and let God”. I assume that’s true for many faith traditions. But have you ever thought about what that means? It’s a fairly easy statement to make. I think I was nervous because I was about to experience the meaning of that statement in a very real. I was about to be dropped off downtown. I’d have no wallet, no car, no cell. All of the tethers to “my” world were going to be taken away. All of my sense of control was going to be stripped from me. I was supposed to simply place all my faith in God and let His plan for my weekend unfold, and it would happen in the most unlikely of places and with the most unlikely people.

But that is another story.

Peace!

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Friday Magnificat

My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has looked with favor on the lowliness of his servant.

Surely, from now on all generations will call me blessed; for the Mighty One has done great things for me, and holy is his name.

His mercy is for those who fear him from generation to generation. He has shown strength with his arm; he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts.

He has brought down the powerful from their thrones, and lifted up the lowly; he has filled the hungry with good things, and sent the rich away empty.

He has helped his servant Israel, in remembrance of his mercy, according to our ancestors, to Abraham and to his descendants forever.

+Amen

St. Michael, defend us.
St. Rafael, protect us from illness.
St. Gabriel, help us hear and understand the call of the Lord.

For background information on the Magnificat, read my earlier post, This Year, Pray the Magnificat on 1st Fridays.

2011 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 3,700 times in 2011. If it were a NYC subway train, it would take about 3 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.